What should you do when parents have unrealistic expectations of their children? Recently at school the students received their IGCSE and AS level results. There was very large crowd outside of the principal’s office, crammed full even, with lots of expectant children and parents. Many of the students were being congratulated as they received their certificates and one of the girls fainted when she got her results. One parent asked me if I thought their child would get an A or B for their AS level but as that student only got a C grade at IGCSE, the level of expectation was simply way too high. It is always difficult to know what to tell a parent when they simply have too much expectation of what their son or daughter is capable of but the simple fact is students generally do not do better at AS level than IGCSE because the subject level is so much harder.
Recently I went to my own daughters parents evening. She has just started grade R. Some of the parents in the meeting wanted to know how quickly their child could be moved into grade 1. The principal quite rightly responded that with differentiation in the classroom that student would still be pushed and it is not necessarily wise to jump up a grade. One of the parents would not give up and was convinced that their little darling was a genius. The honest truth is that most children are just average at most things and with time develop specialist skills with positive feedback from parents and teachers playing an important guiding role. What’s the rush to get a child through high school? School is not just about grades and academics, perhaps more importantly it’s about social interaction, making friends, understanding how to interact with other people. Children should always be encouraged and supported throughout their education but over-expectation is dangerous, puts stress and pressure on the child and must be avoided at all costs.